Why Mentoring Breaks Down

On the Revive Our Hearts radio program this week, the discussion has been on older women mentoring younger women. Though this is something clearly taught in Titus 2, sometimes it just does not happen in the church. This broadcast helped me understand why mentoring breaks down for older and younger women.

Briefly, some reasons from the program...

Reasons from older women about why they aren't mentoring:
1. They struggle with pride and do not want to be vulnerable
2. They fear rejection after being rejected by their own kids or other younger women
3. They believe that some younger women look like they have it all together already
4. They find younger women unapproachable
5. They are afraid of failing or having nothing to say/teach
6. They believe the culture says mothers and mother-in-laws are not to interfere
7. They like their freedom and do not want to be tied down to a weekly meeting, etc.
8. They are or appear to be too busy to mentor (some work full-time)
9. They have not been diligent in growing spiritually and aren't good examples
10. They don't have points of contact with younger women

Reasons from younger women's about why they aren't in mentoring relationships:
1. They struggle with pride and do not want to seem "needy"
2. They do not share their needs or struggles with older women
3. They do not work to get to know older women or their life stories
4. They have resisted advice and been rebellious
5. They are or appear to be too busy to be mentored
6. They simply have not asked someone to mentor them
7. They do not have points of contact with older women
8. They think that the more mature woman should make the first step in mentoring

Obviously, some of these are sin problems and some are merely obstacles. I've noticed that the transiency of our culture (people moving often and usually away from their hometowns) does not help this problem. Older and younger women do not have any history to share. The younger women did not know the older women when they were in the midst of raising children. The older women do not know the younger women's parents or family background.

Anyway, I thought these observations were helpful in understanding the "other side".