How to wake up as a Christian

This is a quote from Joni Eareckson Tada (from an old Revive our Hearts radio program on suffering). It captures so beautifully how I'm learning to live, dependent on God for strength for each day.

There are so many mornings I wake up, and even after all these years, my first thought is, “Oh God, I don’t know that I can do this! I’m so tired. I cannot face this, Lord God, another day! How am I going to find the energy to make it till lunchtime? Oh, I cannot wait to get my head back on this pillow!

“Yet, Lord, You’re putting this day before me. Before my girlfriend comes in that bedroom door to give me a bed bath, do my range of motion exercises, get me dressed, set me in a wheelchair, brush my hair, brush my teeth—Oh God, I need to give her a smile. So please may I borrow Your smile today? I need You desperately. Oh, God, please show up. Help me Jesus!”

...honestly I think that’s the Christian way to live. That’s the biblical way to live. That’s not the shameful way to live. The apostle Paul says, “Boast in your affliction”. Tell the Lord the truth. Go to him in the morning and say, “I cannot do this.” I mean Jesus Himself said, “You can’t do it anyway. You can do nothing without Me”. So why not admit it?

Virtually every morning this paralysis pushes me to the throne of God to require His grace. Maybe the really handicapped people are those who when they wake up in the morning and hear the alarm clock go off, they jump out of bed; they take a quick shower; they scarf down breakfast. They go out the front door on automatic cruise control.

Maybe they are the ones most handicapped because God says in James chapter 4, “He resists the proud”. Some translations say, “He opposes [He’s against] the proud.”

Who are the proud? The people—the women—who think they’ve got life figured out. Ok, I got this thing. I’ve got it now Lord. I’ll go ahead on my own steam, and I’ll just check in with You every now and again when I need You, but I can do this thing called life. God says, “If that’s the way you wake up in the morning and face your day, I’m against you. I resist the proud, but (and here’s the best part) He gives grace to the humble.”

...you and I know that the humble are simply those who recognize their desperate need for God; their “empty hand” of spiritual poverty.

Kingdom Living

I've finally have the chance to write down what I heard from the Lafayette Biblical Counseling Conference that impacted me the most. God was able to go to my heart and help me see a little more idolatry. The session was "The Kingdom of God and your marriage." It dealt with marriage, but also with a heart matter that happens in any relationship. He expressed the idea of two kingdoms. God's kingdom and my kingdom, and how everything that happens to me I run through the filter of my kingdom, not necessarily God's kingdom. I have my rules of my kingdom, my wants, my needs, my feelings, and as long as someone is in line with what I want, and is helping me reach the goals of my kingdom, I am happy.

As soon as someone steps over the boundaries of my rules, then I get upset. My law has been broken. Whether it is a child misbehaving, or waking up in the middle of the night, or a husband who is looking at his laptop all night, I set my rules and say "In my kingdom that isn't allowed." Tripp said, "Freedom from anger is not about anger management, it’s about worship realignment." I tend to worship myself, not God.

We are always living in the service of some kind of kingdom.

He stated:

1. Everyone lives for some kind of treasure.

2. The thing that is your treasure will control your heart.

3. What controls you heart, will control your behavior.

"The vast amount of anger in marriage has nothing to do with the kingdom of God. I’m not angry because you’ve broken the laws of God’s kingdom, I’m angry because you’ve broken the laws of my kingdom."

It is almost as if we are saying to our partner, child, friend...

“I love you and I have a wonderful plan for your life”

Tripp also says that instead of trying to deal with the heart we tend to work on the symptoms of the problem. "What we are trying to do, is we are actually trying to fix kingdom conflict with a little bit of principles on communication, and a little bit of principles on sexuality, and a little bit of principles on roles and it will never happen, because those struggles are symptomatic, they are the fruit of a deeper issue."

In my kingdom I manipulate to get what I want, need and feel, but in God's kingdom I am selfless and serving regardless of what I get in return. I say “I want you to serve the laws and purposes of my kingdom, and I will be delighted when you do, but when you don’t…” “It’s only when I submit my wants, and my needs, and my feelings to the greater purposes of the kingdom of God that I will ever love you the way I’m supposed to love you.” Quotes - from Paul Tripp.

"Shy" or "Popular"?

Which would you rather be?

I went to an interesting workshop at the Biblical Counseling Conference that gave me insight into these labels (I think I have considered myself both at different times). Neither of these labels is necessarily right or biblical. Both are just different ends on the continuum of pride. One gets what I think I deserve. The other doesn't get what I think I deserve.

Notice the contrast in thoughts.

Pride Unfulfilled
I am such a loser.
I don't fit in.
Everyone can tell how nervous I am.
I don't have anything to say.
I'm so ugly.
I'm boring.
I have to get out of here before I embarrass myself any more.
My voice is quivering.
I sound stupid.
I'm a social misfit.
People must think I'm crazy.
Everyone thinks I'm too quiet.

Pride Fulfilled
I'm such a winner!
I'm so popular.
Everyone can see how poised/cool/attractive I am.
Everything I have to say is worth listening to.
I'm beautiful.
I'm fascinating.
I love being the center of attention.
I need to be here or no one would have any fun.
My voice sounds so confident.
I sound intelligent.
I have it all together.

Both sets have a common theme--"I". The opposite of pride is godly humility and a focus on others. The right thoughts to think in relationships or in groups are:

How can I minister to the people here?
Who needs a word of encouragement?
How does God want to use me at this party/church service/meeting?
I might fail in my attempts to show love to others, but God can use that too. What He does with me is up to Him.
I am here to love others, not to have my own desires fulfilled.

(This workshop was given by Amy Baker, director of Faith Resources in Lafayette)

Worship and Relationships

Last week Anna and I both traveled to Lafayette, Indiana for the Biblical Counseling Training Conference at Faith Baptist Church/Faith Ministries. We had a great time with challenging sessions all week long.
One of the best sessions I heard was by Paul Tripp on Worship and Marital Unity. He used an illustration that was life-changing for me. I've shared it with several people already. The picture was of a triangle with the word WORSHIP in the center. The three points were labeled God as Creator (top), God as Sovereign (left) and God as Savior (right). I'll describe each.

In our relationships, we need to realize that God is creator of the other person. Often we get frustrated with the way God has "hardwired" them (for example, a husband's lack of mechanical ability) and wish we could "re-create" them. We must recognize God as creator and worship Him for the way He has made them.

God is also sovereign over each of our life stories. We can trust God's sovereignty in "writing" each story as He chooses. To be critical of a person's culture, family background, or life experiences is to fail to worship God as sovereign.

God has also provided a Savior in Jesus Christ. We, who have accepted by faith His gift of grace, have begun an ongoing process of sanctification and growth in grace. In our relationships, we must recognize that God is conforming each of us to the image of His Son. This process will not be completed until we see Him face to face. We can worship God for His work; and we can participate with Him in His work in others.

These three truths leave little room for a negative and critical heart. There is only place for hope in God and worship of God. I think this is incredibly encouraging as we participate in the lives of flawed individuals and recognize in ourselves a propensity to choose our own way. Relationships are a "mess worth making". They drive us to worship.

God as Creator
Psalm 100:3 "Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture."

God as Sovereign
Acts 17:26 "and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation,"

God as Savior
Titus 2:11-15 "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds."