I've finally have the chance to write down what I heard from the Lafayette Biblical Counseling Conference that impacted me the most. God was able to go to my heart and help me see a little more idolatry. The session was "The Kingdom of God and your marriage." It dealt with marriage, but also with a heart matter that happens in any relationship. He expressed the idea of two kingdoms. God's kingdom and my kingdom, and how everything that happens to me I run through the filter of my kingdom, not necessarily God's kingdom. I have my rules of my kingdom, my wants, my needs, my feelings, and as long as someone is in line with what I want, and is helping me reach the goals of my kingdom, I am happy.
As soon as someone steps over the boundaries of my rules, then I get upset. My law has been broken. Whether it is a child misbehaving, or waking up in the middle of the night, or a husband who is looking at his laptop all night, I set my rules and say "In my kingdom that isn't allowed." Tripp said, "Freedom from anger is not about anger management, it’s about worship realignment." I tend to worship myself, not God.
We are always living in the service of some kind of kingdom.
He stated:
1. Everyone lives for some kind of treasure.
2. The thing that is your treasure will control your heart.
3. What controls you heart, will control your behavior.
"The vast amount of anger in marriage has nothing to do with the kingdom of God. I’m not angry because you’ve broken the laws of God’s kingdom, I’m angry because you’ve broken the laws of my kingdom."
It is almost as if we are saying to our partner, child, friend...
“I love you and I have a wonderful plan for your life”
Tripp also says that instead of trying to deal with the heart we tend to work on the symptoms of the problem. "What we are trying to do, is we are actually trying to fix kingdom conflict with a little bit of principles on communication, and a little bit of principles on sexuality, and a little bit of principles on roles and it will never happen, because those struggles are symptomatic, they are the fruit of a deeper issue."
In my kingdom I manipulate to get what I want, need and feel, but in God's kingdom I am selfless and serving regardless of what I get in return. I say “I want you to serve the laws and purposes of my kingdom, and I will be delighted when you do, but when you don’t…” “It’s only when I submit my wants, and my needs, and my feelings to the greater purposes of the kingdom of God that I will ever love you the way I’m supposed to love you.” Quotes - from Paul Tripp.
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