Last week we were on our way to spend Christmas with my family. We are only all together a few times a year, and the last time we had seen them was in July. I was so excited to be able to spend a few days just relaxing, talking, staying up late playing games, etc. But Nora had a temp when we got there. It was 103.5 for the three days we were there. So what did I do instead? - layed with her, held her, worried about her, missed out on the free vacation feeling, and finally took her to a walk in clinic the day after Christmas. We waited there at the clinic for six hours until they said- "go home, we don't know what's wrong." I was mad, mad at God for not giving me time with my family, mad at the clinic because I figured they should do something to figure this out. I had believed a lie. The lie was that I deserved time with my family. I deserved to relax- after all I had chosen to serve God, living far away from my family. The least he could do was give me three days with them. Instead I wasted three days (part of it at a dirty clinic) with no answers. What was God trying to do? It was not fair? Right?
On my way home I was reading in the book "Lies Women Believe" about the rights we demand. Here is the list of rights we often demand (from the book)
- I have a right to be happy
- I have a right to be understood
- I have a right to be loved
- I have a right to a certain standard of living, to an equitable wage, and to decent benefits
- I have a right to a good marriage
- I have a right to companionship and romance
- I have a right to be treated with respect in the workplace
- I have a right to be valued by my husband and appreciated by my children
- I have a right to time off and a certain number of vacation days
- I have a right to a good night's sleep
- I have a right to have my husband pitch in with the household chores.
Then I added my rights I've believed to the list--
- I have a right to spend time with my family relaxing
- I have a right to be comfortable
- I have a right to be free from a crying baby
- I have a right to have healthy kids
- I have a right to no worries over the holidays
- I have a right to have a happily helping husband
The story of Jonah is all about rights. Jonah was mad at God because he had taken away his plant that shaded him and because he thought God should destroy Ninevah, but he didn't.
Nancy Leigh DeMoss says it this way,
"The sad thing is that Jonah's story sounds a lot like my own at times. All too often, I find myself annoyed and perturbed when things don't go my way. A decision someone makes at the office, a rude driver on the freeway, a long line at the checkout counter, a thoughtless word spoken by a family member, a minor offense (real or perceived) by a friend, someone who fails to come through on a commitment, a phone call that wakes me when I have just fallen off to sleep (I add - a sick child while on Christmas vacation), if I am staking out my rights, even the smallest violation of those rights can leave me feeling and acting moddy, uptight, and angry.
The only way to get off that kind of spiritual and emotional roller coaster is to yield all my rights to the One who ultimately holds all rights. That is the Truth - and the Truth will set us free."
I have no rights. Only grace, gifts given by God to me, an undeserving sinner. Whenever something comes up that I think is wrong, God has wonderful plans. He always works all things together for good. How can I as the clay think I could do any better than the potter, as he works away at me chipping away?
Our anger, moodiness, uptightness, blowing up, manipulation and other sins, can do nothing to change me to be more like His Son, only a humble heart that says - Lord do what you want, I have no right!
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