My story too...

This was posted on the Desiring God blog today by John Piper...so refreshing.

This is my confession:

I was born into a believing family through no merit of my own at all.

I was given a mind to think and a heart to feel through no merit of my own at all.

I was brought into the hearing of the gospel through no merit of my own at all.

My rebellion was subdued, my hardness removed, my blindness overcome, and my deadness awakened through no merit of my own at all.

Thus I became a believer in Christ through no merit of my own at all.

And so I am an heir of God with Christ through no merit of my own at all.

Now when I put forward effort to please the Lord who bought me, this is to me no merit at all, because

...it is not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10)

...God is working in me that which is pleasing in his sight. (Hebrews 13:21)

...he fulfills every resolve for good by his power. (2 Thessalonians 1:11)

And therefore there is no ground for boasting in myself, but only in God’s mighty grace.

Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:31)

Where do you find satisfaction?

"...pride is a species of unbelief. Unbelief is a turning away from God and his Son in order to seek satisfaction in other things. Pride is a turning away from God specifically to take satisfaction in self. So pride is one specific form of unbelief. And its antidote is the wakening and strengthening of faith in future grace.

"...covetousness is turning away from God, usually to find satisfaction in things. ...lust is turning away from God to find satisfaction in sex. ...bitterness is turning away from God to find satisfaction in revenge. Impatience is turning away from God to find satisfaction in your own uninterrupted plan of action. Anxiety, misplaced shame and despondency are various conditions of the heart when these efforts of unbelief miscarry.

"But deeper than all these forms of unbelief is the unbelief of pride, because self-determination and self-exaltation lie behind all these other sinful dispositions. Every turning from God--for anything--presumes a kind of autonomy or independence that is the essence of pride. Turning from God assumes that one knows better than God. Thus pride lies at the root of every turning from God. It is the root of every act of distrust toward God. Or, more accurately, pride is not so much the root as it is the essence of unbelief, and its remedy is faith in future grace. Thus the battle against pride is the battle against unbelief; and the fight for humility is the fight of faith in future grace."

John Piper in Future Grace

Not a Popular Subject

"Humility is not popular human trait in the modern world. It's not touted in the talk shows or celebrated in valedictory speeches or commended in diversity seminars or listed with corporate core values. And if you go to the massive self-help section of your sprawling mall bookstore, you won't find many titles celebrating humility.
"The basic reason for this is not hard to find: humility can only survive in the presence of God. When God goes, humility goes. In fact you might say that humility follows God like a shadow. We can expect to find humility applauded in our society about as often as we find God applauded. "

(John Piper in Future Grace, page 85)

A True View of Self

“Christ teaches the soul this, so that, as in the presence of God on a real sight of itself, it can say: ‘Lord, I am nothing, Lord, I deserve nothing, Lord, I can do nothing, I can receive nothing, and can make use of nothing, I am worse than nothing, and if I come to nothing and perish I will be no loss at all and therefore is it such a great thing for me to be cut short here?’ A man who is little in his own eyes will account every affliction as little, and every mercy as great.”

The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs

Time Management Quote

A man’s home is no longer his castle; it is no longer a place from urgent tasks because the telephone breaches the walls with imperious demands. The momentary appeal of these tasks seems irresistible and important, and they devour our energy. But in the light of time’s perspective their deceptive prominence fades; with a sense of loss we recall the important task pushed aside. We realize we’ve become slaves to the tyranny of the urgent.

CAN YOU ESCAPE…….?

Is there any escape from this pattern of living? The answer lies in the life of our Lord. On the night before He died, Jesus made an astonishing claim. In the great prayer of John 17 He said, “ I have finished the work which Thou gavest me to do” (verse 4).

How could Jesus use the word “finished”? His three-year ministry seemed all too short. A prostitute at Simon’s banquet had found forgiveness and a new life, but many others still walked the street without forgiveness and a new life. For every ten withered muscles that had flexed into health, a hundred remained impotent. Yet on that last night, with many useful tasks undone and urgent human needs unmet, the Lord had peace; He knew He had finished God’s work.

The Gospel records show that Jesus worked hard. After describing a busy day Mark writes, “That evening at sundown, they brought to Him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered about the door. And He healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons” (1:32-34).

On another occasion the demand of the ill and maimed caused Him to miss supper and to work so late that His family thought He was beside Himself (Mark 3:21). One day after a strenuous teaching session, Jesus and His disciples went out in a boat. Even a storm didn’t awaken Him (Mark 4:37-38). What a picture of exhaustion.

Yet His life was never feverish; He had time for people. He could spend hours talking to one person, such as the Samaritan women at the well. His life showed a wonderful balance, a sense of timing. When His brothers wanted Him to go to Judea, He replied, “My time has not yet come” (John 7:6). Jesus did not ruin His gifts by haste. In The Discipline and Culture of the Spiritual Life, A.E. Whiteham observes; “Here in this Man is adequate purpose…inward rest, that gives an air of leisure to His crowded life: above all there is in this Man a secret and a power of dealing with the waste-products of life, the waste of pain, disappointment, enmity, death---turning to divine uses the abuses of man, transforming arid places of pain to fruitfulness, triumphing at last in death and making a short life of thirty years or so, abruptly cut off, to be a ‘finished’ life. We cannot admire the poise and beauty of this human life, and then ignore the things that made it.”

...

We may wonder why our Lord’s ministry was so short, why it could not have lasted another five or ten years, why so many wretched sufferers were left in their misery. Scripture gives not answer to these questions, and we leave them in the mystery of God’s purposes. But we do know that Jesus’ prayerful waiting for God’s instructions freed Him from the tyranny of the urgent. It gave Him a sense of direction, set a steady pace and enabled Him to do every task God assigned. And on the last night He could say, “I have finished the work which Thou gavest me to do.”

from Charles Hummel's "Tyranny of the Urgent" here.

Pride

Harboring pride is a way of saying, "I am worthy of the good things happening around me."

Duane Elmer in Cross-Cultural Servanthood

More Everyday Talk

"Your seemingly casual words forcefully instruct your children about God--for good or for bad. How would Satan want you to talk to your kids about something as basic as the weather? Your big golf date (or boating day, or baseball game, or garden show, etc.) gets rained out. You find yourself angry and upset. You say something like, 'Why couldn't it have waited until tomorrow? I've been weeks setting this up. Stupid rain! I can't believe what bad luck this is!'

"These comments communicate to your kids just how well you think Jesus Christ, the Lord of the wind and the waves, is running His world. You are complaining against His decision to bring rain when you didn't want Him to. Whom are you pleasing? Whom do you think is cheering you on, saying, 'Go for it, keep it up, couldn't have said it better myself, atta boy!' (Hint: It's not the Holy Spirit.)

"...The principle of Deuteronomy 6 is that your everyday comments are the ones that teach your children most profoundly about your view of God. Your interaction with God in everyday, ordinary, non-church life is the most powerful tool of influence that you have with your children. It communicates what you really believe. You are being either a good example of someone wholeheartedly committed to God or a bad example, depending upon how you react to everyday life. Do you see how important everyday talk is?"

John A. Younts, Everyday Talk

Everyday Talk

Everyday Talk: Talking Freely and Naturally about God with Your Children
I highly recommend this book by John A. Younts. Here is how it starts out:

"What is the most powerful human influence in your child's life?
Your "quality time" with your child?
Church and Sunday School?
Friends?
Parental discipline?
These may be all good things, but there is another influence more powerful than all of them. The most powerful personal influence in your child's life is everyday talk.
Everyday talk is talk that happens in the unplanned moments. It happens in casual, unguarded moments. It happens when you are distracted or irritated and would rather not be talking at all. It happens when you receive unexpected news, good or bad. You are always talking or thinking about things--at home or on the way to the mall, when you are driving to work or school, when you are falling asleep (or lying awake), or when you are dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. This is everyday talk."

More from the first chapter (regarding Deuteronomy 6:6-7...what is on your heart will come out through your mouth):

"What kinds of thoughts live long enough in your heart to take up residence there? Or, said in a slightly different way, what things are so important to you that you can't stop thinking about them? Dads, how many times do you replay that six-iron that gave you a winning birdie? What about when your team won the big game in the last seconds? Is there a new car or new DVD player that is constantly on your mind? Are you consumed by getting your new fall wardrobe? Or, negatively, is your heart dominated by thoughts of how others have wrongly treated you? Are your thoughts dominated by how unfair life is? You get the point--what topics are alive inside your heart? What do your friends, family and coworkers hear about, whether they want to or not?"

Spiritual Causes of Depression

I believe that much of the causes of my personal depression are spiritual problems (self-pity, pride, worry, discouragement, lack of faith), but here is another helpful side to the discussion:

"Some who are depressed strongly react against the suggestion of a possible spiritual cause. Others race toward the idea; they hope that once they discover the core sin, everything will change. They feel as if they must be spiritually deficient because they have no joy, no deep affection, no spiritual vitality. Maybe, they think, they are among the "lukewarm" of the book of Revelation (Rev. 3:16), a group they rightly would like to leave as soon as possible. But depression is a time to revisit both our own expectations and God's for our emotional life. Contrary to what we might think, God says that strong faith can coexist with emotional highs, lows, and everything in between. It is a myth that faith is always smiling. The truth is that faith often feels like the very ordinary process of dragging one foot in front of the other because we are conscious of God." (Edward T. Welch, Depression a Stubborn Darkness, pg. 31)

Christ-centeredness in a godly family...

From the introduction to Edward Hartman's book Homeward Bound: Building an Attractive Christ-centered Family on Eternal Principles. The author's wife (Amy!) died of cancer at the age of 32 (same as me!). They had four children.

...Christ-centeredness in a godly family grows out of living constantly with a long view. A perspective that holds in constant view the unshakable reality of eternity as the backdrop to every issue, every relationship, every hope, every dream, every joy, every sorrow, every smile, and every tear. I’ve learned that as the spiritual head of my marriage and family, I can offer no greater gift to those I hold dear in this life, than to point them constantly to eternity, and to the One who sovereignly rules over it.

In Romans 12:1-2, the apostle Paul challenges us: ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ It is this ‘godly preoccupation’ with eternity that lies at the heart of offering our bodies as living sacrifices, and consequently, at the heart of a life of worship. The result of this preoccupation with eternity, Paul tells us, is that we will be able test and approve what God’s good, perfect, and pleasing will is. This doesn’t simply point to the right identifying of or thinking about God’s will, but it leads us to the right valuing of those things that count for eternity. And when we learn to treasure above all else the perfect and pleasing will of God and learn to be satisfied in all that God is for us and offers to us, then everything else in our lives, and in our families, regains proper perspective and proportion.

Favorites from C.S. Lewis

If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain.

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.

Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.

Quotable

“A woman whose heart is not touched by the sickness of sorrow and whose hands do not go out in relief where it is in her power to help, that kind of woman lacks one of the elements which make the glory of womanhood. Some homes bless no lives outside their own circle. Others are perpetually pouring out sweetness and fragrance. The ideal, Christian home is a far-reaching benediction. Its doors stand ever open with a welcome to everyone who comes seeking shelter from the storm or sympathy in sorrow or help in trial. Some wife, weary already, her hands over-full with the multiplied cares and duties of her household life, may plead that she has no strength to spend in sympathy and help for others, but it is truly wonderful how light these added burdens seem when they are taken up in love."
From a book written by J. R. Miller in 1882 called Homemaking.

Spurgeon on Depression

Charles Spurgeon struggled with severe depression during his very fruitful public ministry. I found this quote interesting and true in my experience as well. He had, obviously, learned to "count it all joy" when he fell into various trials, including depression.

"This depression comes over me whenever the Lord is preparing a larger blessing for my ministry; the cloud is black before it breaks, and overshadows before it yields its deluge of mercy. Depression has now become to me as a prophet in rough clothing, a John the Baptist, heralding the nearer coming of my Lord's richer benison"

Death Sentence

"We had this sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God that raiseth the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:9

"By this scripture I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon every thing that can be properly called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible, as Paul said in another place; the way not to faint, is to "look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
John Bunyan

Since receiving my diagnosis of gestational diabetes over three years ago, I have often felt like I live with a "death sentence." I guess all of us do; we will all die. Mine feels a bit more specific, and I still struggle with fear nearly every day. This verse and quote from John Bunyan are encouraging to me. My "death sentence" should serve as a reminder that I am dead to comfort, dead to health, dead to expectations, dead to freedom, dead to self.

On judging others' involvement (an easy thing to do)

This is from the book Margin by Richard A. Swenson, M.D.:

Each of us needs to seek his or her own level of involvement and not let the standard be mandated by the often exorbitant expectations of others. Some around us who are much more involved than we are may not understand why we choose to hold back. Others might be much less involved than we are--we assume they don't care. We must understand that everyone has a different tolerance for overload and a different threshold level when breakdown begins to occur. It is important for us to set people free to seek their own level.

When given this freedom, some unfortunately will indeed use the overload principle as an excuse for laziness. Exploitation will occur by those who claim to be overloaded but instead are simply undisciplined. In this case I may wish to employ a large measure of grace as I talk to them about their level of involvement. But as soon as I condemn them or try to control them, I violate who they are before God. Making them accountable to Him does not mean that they must then do as I wish them to do. My own spiritual walk in the midst of my own overload is enough of a burden to keep me fully occupied.

So...when it comes to me: Check for laziness and an undisciplined life. Be willing and ready to do whatever God calls me to do, even if it requires sacrifice. Above all, seek to know and do God's will for my time and resources.
When it comes to others: Think the best of them. Trust that they are seeking to do God's will. When in doubt, give grace. (Though I think there is a place for loving questioning.)

Risky Relationships

Yesterday I learned that some recent visitors to our church have decided to join a different church. The family attended our church for about a month and had mentioned at one point that they would like to join our church. I was saddened to hear that they have changed their minds and found a different church home. This is not an unfamiliar story in our town where there are many great churches. We really do not expect every visitor to our church to end up here. However, this situation was painful for me as I had invested much time and emotional energy into the family. (And I really wanted their friendship; they were great people!) I felt burned last night. I had no desire to visit anyone else ever again...or make cookies for them...or volunteer to watch their kids...or do any of the little acts of kindness that I know God wants me to do. Relationships are risky. Every time I invest in a person, I am in danger of having my heart broken or of feeling like a failure. These situations reveal what my true motivation is in loving people. Is it to be loved back or is to glorify God? If, through loving this family, God was glorified, then I have done the right thing whether it brought me any personal benefit or not.

Risk is still difficult. There is always the potential for failure (my fear of which shows that I am idolizing success). Recently I read this encouraging quote by Theodore Roosevelt in the book Measuring Up by Knute Larson, Stuart Briscoe and Larry Osborne. I must not allow my fear of failure or my fear of being hurt to keep me from obeying God.

“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is not effort without error and shortcoming; who does actually try to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

Apostrophe to Sarah Pierrepont

Believe it or not, I first read this in my eleventh grade American Literature textbook. I attended a public school, but we had old textbooks which included Jonathan Edward's sermon "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God." This short selection, also written by Edwards, followed the sermon. Sarah Pierrepont was only thirteen when Edwards wrote this of her. They married when she was seventeen. I remember this piece having a great impact on me as a teenager.

Jonathan Edwards of Sarah [c. 1723]:

They say there is a young lady in [New Haven] who is beloved of that almighty Being, who made and rules the world, and that there are certain seasons in which this great Being, in some way or other invisible, comes to her and fills her mind with exceeding sweet delight, and that she hardly cares for anything, except to meditate on him--that she expects after a while to be received up where he is, to be raised up out of the world and caught up into heaven; being assured that he loves her too well to let her remain at a distance from him always. There she is to dwell with him, and to be ravished with his love and delight forever. Therefore, if you present all the world before her, with the richest of its treasures, she disregards it and cares not for it, and is unmindful of any pain or affliction. She has a strange sweetness in her mind, and singular purity in her affections; is most just and conscientious in all her actions; and you could not persuade her to do anything wrong or sinful, if you would give her all the world, lest she should offend this great Being. She is of a wonderful sweetness, calmness and universal benevolence of mind; especially after those seasons in which this great God has manifested himself to her mind. She will sometimes go about from place to place, singing sweetly; and seems to be always full of joy and pleasure; and no one knows for what. She loves to be alone, and to wander in the fields and on the mountains, and seems to have someone invisible always conversing with her.

Free Books

You can read free books on the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood website here. I have recently especially enjoyed Biblical Womanhood in the Home edited by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

By the Grace of God

I was reading in the book, When Sinners Say I Do, and I was struck by a thought by Dave Harvey. He was discussing the story of David's sin with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel. When David sinned with Bathsheba, he was not left without consequences. The story in the Bible tells of the prophet Nathan who approached David and rebuked him. Nathan told the story of a man who had stolen a sheep and pointed out David's sin to him using this familiar example that David connected with. David had been a sheep herder and knew the importance of a sheep to his master. Nathan was willing to go to David to see him reconciled to God.
Harvey pointed this out, "There are two amazing dynamics at work in this historical snapshot. First God pursues sinners. God's love is relentless. Even when we are blinded by sin, he refuses to let go. God pursued David with a tireless love. Second God uses sinners to pursue sinners. Nathan, like David, was a man prone to the same temptations and failures as David. But God had given David a ministry in that moment. He was a sinner called to help another sinner become reconciled to God."
Nathan was available. He knew God's commands and that David's sin had affected himself and others. He was willing to overcome fear and comfort on his part to confront David. And he humbled himself to go, recognizing that only God could do the part in David's life to bring repentance.
It is always a little overwhelming to think that I as a sinner might be able to help another sinner see God more clearly. Using the right timing and the right words, I might be able to say or do something that could bring God some glory. That is grace!
We only destroy that grace when we somehow think that we can change a person. We cannot convict or change anyone. All we can do is point them to the cross and then pray that while they are at the cross they will see their need for a Savior. If I think I can do anything on my own, then I am not seeing any grace of God in my life, and the person I counsel will perhaps not see God either - only me, a sinner. Only by God's grace can I do anything good.

Lord, Change Me

I found this poem in a book written by Juanita Purcell.
Lord, will these pains and trials never end?
Just when I think it’s over, another You send.
You know my heart—how it hurts so bad;
I’m trying to smile, but I feel so sad.
What from these trials do You want me to know?
Oh, I remember; You want me to grow.
Yes, more like Jesus You want me to be;
That’s the plan You have in mind for me.
So keep on chipping and banging away;
Don’t stop till You’re finished, no matter what I say.

Ruth Harms Calkins has written:
Change me, God
Please change me.
Though I cringe
Kick
Resist and resent
Pay no attention to me whatever.
When I run to hide
Drag me out of my safe little shelter.
Change me totally
Whatever it takes
However long You must work at the job.
Change me—and save me
From spiritual self-destruction.