Wordell Worldview

Today we went to see the public television guy do a storytime. He's an incredibly talented guy, but his presentation started an interesting conversation in our van on the way home. His story was about the "evil squid" (defined by the fact that they eat old batteries, toxic waste and garbage cans) who were invading the earth. He called on all of the "good children" (later described as those who eat good healthy food) at the Bandshell Park to help save the world. Of course, he asked everyone who was a "good child" to raise his or her hand. Thankfully, my kids hesitated. They know that they are not good. (They are lavishly loved by God and by their parents...but they are not good.) Romans 3:23 says that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." We don't measure up--we don't even come close--to the perfection and sinlessness of God. Romans 3:10 says that "none is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God." From birth we naturally seek our own self-interests, living our lives independent of God.

This worldview that people are inherently good is toxic stuff. For one thing, it's confusing. If I am good, why do I want to eat cookies and candy all of the time? If I am good, why do I want what other people have? If others are good, why do they try to steal my stuff? If people are good, why do they do such evil things all over the world? Understanding the biblical view of man actually gives us an incredible amount of hope. We do not seek after God, but he seeks after us. He made us and loves us and sent his sinless Son, Jesus, to die a death he did not deserve. Because of Jesus' death, we are offered forgiveness of sin. Not only that, but we are given power over sin and the power to change. For my part, I'm glad I know that I'm not "good" little girl.

Losing myself

Since the addition of baby number five, I often feel like I've lost myself. Oh, I haven't developed a split personality or anything : ), but it seems that the Amy I used to know has vanished. Instead of becoming a more interesting, accomplished person, I seem to have been replaced by this person who constantly says things like, "May I PLEASE have a drink, Mama?" or "Please pick up your shoes." This new person scrubs, feeds, finds things, counts children, and disciplines around the clock. I live my life in a new kind of survival mode. It's been so long since I've thought a complete thought (much less slept a complete night, eaten a complete meal, completely cleaned a room or completely finished anything!). A friend reminded me this week that this is what Christ called me to do...to lose my life for HIS sake. I am comforted by the fact that this "lost to self place" is the best place for me. Doing it for HIS sake (instead of for the praise of others, for the adoration of my children--impossible anyway!) makes this truly the life God intends for me!

"And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Matthew 10:39

In Light of "Bad" News

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (ESV)
"Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places."

"Our Wedding Text: Habakkuk 3" from Velvet Steel by John Piper

Although the fig tree blossom not,
And all the vines of our small plot
Be barren, and the olive fail,
The sheep grow weak and heifers frail,
We will rejoice in God, my love,
And take our pleasures from above:
The Lord, our God, shall be our strength
And give us life, whatever length
On earth he please, and make our feet
Like mountain deer, to rise and cleat
The narrow path for man and wife
That rises steep and leads to life.

Fear, Ditches and 1 Peter 3

1 Peter 3:3-6
"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening."

I've struggled with fear this week as the Iowa Supreme Court hears arguments regarding the legality of gay marriage in Iowa. I recognize that the ongoing effects of this legislation could impact my family and my pastor-husband. If he was sent to jail for some reason, it would be difficult for me to care for myself and five small children. I have been fixing my thoughts on 1 Peter 3:3-6 where women are instructed to "hope in God" and not to "fear anything that is frightening." Unfortunately, my hope is often in my husband and in his ability to care for us (he does an excellent job).

This morning, even with a school two hour delay and excellent Minnesota driving skills : ), our mini van spun on a rural road and went into the ditch. I called Will on my cell phone, but knew that it would take more than a good push to get me out of my situation. God sent along some men with a large truck who offered to pull me out of the ditch for $25. I happily took them up on the offer and was out in no time--even got Kaisa to school on time.

What an excellent reminder from my heavenly Father that, though He has given me a good husband, He doesn't need my husband to take care of me. God takes care of me. I can hope in Him alone.

Broken Ovens and Romans 11

My oven broke yesterday. I couldn't tell what was wrong at first, but when I preheated it to bake some chocolate chip cookies, it would only go up to about 220 degrees and then stop (it is an electric oven with a digital thermometer). I realized later that the bottom heating coil unit was broken in half. The top one was helping to get the oven warm, but it wasn't able to bring it all the way up to the temperature I wanted (plus, I think it was probably dangerous to keep operating it like that!). Well, Will ordered a new heating unit online which should come early next week.

The funny thing is that this is the week I had signed up to bring a meal to a friend who had a new baby (I planned and grocery shopped to bring a baked chicken dish), four dozen Christmas cookies for "Christmas in October" at church (I bought stuff to make peanut butter blossoms), and my grandma's baked apple bars for a bonfire on Saturday night. That's not to mention the chicken pot pie and other meals I had planned to feed my own family. : ) What a week for my oven to go!

I was reminded of a passage of scripture that was brought to my attention this past weekend--Romans 11:33-36, specifically verse 36, "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." (ESV)

This broken oven is FROM HIM.
I will be able to endure the broken oven THROUGH HIM.
The purpose of the broken oven is to bring glory TO HIM.

This verse can be applied to every situation I face...financial problems are from Him, bad health is from Him, the actions of evil people are from Him. The only way to handle the things He brings into my life is through His strength and power (see verses 33-35). Ultimately, He will use all things to bring glory to Himself.

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”
“Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?”

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:33-36

Oh, and those chocolate chip cookies I mentioned at the very beginning...plenty of cookie dough is waiting at my house if you like it raw! My kids are sneaking into the fridge whenever they can. : )

Resolutions on the tongue from James

These are from the message "The Tongue, the Bridle, and the Blessing", a message by Sinclair Ferguson at the Desiring God National Conference held last weekend (I only listened online here). He looked, first of all, at the classic passage on the tongue--James 3, and then put it in its practical context within the book of James.

...the book of James has at least 20 resolutions that need to be part of the Christian’s covenant with God about how the believer is going to employ the tongue and lips, and master the heart in such a way that the beauty of Jesus is expressed:

1. I resolve to ask God for wisdom to speak out of a single-minded devotion to him (1:5).
2. I resolve to boast only in the exultation I receive in Jesus Christ and also in the humiliation I receive for Jesus Christ (1:9-10).
3. I resolve to set a watch over my mouth (1:13).
4. I resolve to be constantly quick to hear and slow to speak (1:19).
5. I resolve to learn the gospel way of speaking to both rich and poor (2:1-4).
6. I resolve to speak in the present consciousness of my final judgment (2:12).
7. I resolve never to stand on anyone’s face with the words I employ (2:16).
8. I resolve never to claim as reality in my life what I do not truly experience (3:14).
9. I resolve to resist quarrelsome words as evidence of a bad heart that needs to be mortified (4:1).
10. I resolve never to speak decided evil against another out of a heart of antagonism (4:11).
11. I resolve never to boast in any thing but what I will accomplish (4:13).
12. I resolve to speak as one subject to the providences of God (4:15).
13. I resolve never to grumble. The judge is at the door (5:9).
14. I resolve never to allow anything but total integrity in everything I say (5:12).
15. I resolve to speak to God in prayer whenever I suffer (5:13).
16. I resolve to sing praises to God whenever I’m cheerful (5:14).
17. I resolve to ask for the prayers of others when I’m in need (5:14).
18. I resolve to confess it whenever I have failed (5:15).
19. I resolve to pray with others for one another whenever I am together with them (5:15).
20. I resolve to speak words of restoration when I see another wander (5:19).

Isaiah 57:15

For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite." (ESV)

Our holy God lives forever in the highest heavens, and this is what he says: "Though I live high above in the holy place, I am here to help those who are humble and depend only on me." (CEV)

Death Sentence

"We had this sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God that raiseth the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:9

"By this scripture I was made to see that if ever I would suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon every thing that can be properly called a thing of this life, even to reckon myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyment, and all, as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible, as Paul said in another place; the way not to faint, is to "look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
John Bunyan

Since receiving my diagnosis of gestational diabetes over three years ago, I have often felt like I live with a "death sentence." I guess all of us do; we will all die. Mine feels a bit more specific, and I still struggle with fear nearly every day. This verse and quote from John Bunyan are encouraging to me. My "death sentence" should serve as a reminder that I am dead to comfort, dead to health, dead to expectations, dead to freedom, dead to self.

Do you like ME?

Yesterday I was hugging my third child and saying, "I really like you, Ella!"
Of course, my oldest came up and asked the age-old question, "Do you like ME?"
The conversation continued...

Mama: "Sure I do! I like Ella very much. I like Zeke very much. I like Tad very much and I like Kaisa very much."

Kaisa: "You said you like Tad in a more liking kind of voice."


2 Corinthians 10:12
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

On That Day

It's amazing to me how difficult it is to keep an eternal perspective while we live in this world.

2 Corinthians 4, one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, points out in verses 17 and 18

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

I listened to a sermon online recently by Brad Bigney, a pastor in northern Kentucky. (Brad, by the way, taught at the Biblical Counseling Training Conference we attended in February.) The sermon was the final one in a series on service; it focused on the problem of burnout in ministry. There were many good thoughts--focus on the gospel, finishing well, etc. He pointed out how ridiculous some of our excuses will sound on that final day when we meet Christ. I imagined myself "I was so tired," "I've been hurt too many times," "I would have had to find a babysitter," or "Nobody even cares that I'm doing that." Brad said that we will want to be able to use the words of Paul instead in 2 Timothy 4:8

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

I pray that God will give me grace today to be faithful.

Important Verses: Philippians 4:8

I was thinking today (and actually talking to a new friend) about various portions of Scripture that God has used through the years to change me. God's Word is always active in our lives. As 2 Timothy 3:16 says, it is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction and training in righteousness. I thought I would reflect back on some that have been especially meaningful to me.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

This verse came alive for me after reading Elizabeth George's book, Loving God with All Your Mind. She points out applications to the idea of thinking on what is true. For example, it is not true to think that "God does not love me" or "So-and-so thinks I am stupid" or "God is not good to me". It is not true to "think thoughts" for other people when I cannot prove that whatever-I-think-they-are-thinking is what they are actually thinking. Thinking on what is true is a freeing concept. It forces me to harness my thoughts. I cannot allow them to run in wrong directions. I must "take every thought captive" and "make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5).

An "Inefficient" God

I've had two things happen to me recently that were really frustrating.

First, I bought a gallon of paint at Lowes which was dropped by my son right outside the sliding doors of Lowes. It spilled all over the entrance-way. My first thought was, "Why, God? This seems like a very inefficient use of your money. What possible good comes from this situation? Someone has to clean up the paint; I'm out $25 dollars; my son feels terrible; and the room will not get painted this week. Were I the sovereign of the universe, I would have made a different decision here."

Then today, I spent a couple of hours fixing the slatted bi-fold doors of my laundry closet only to have my daughter bang into them and break them again. Again, it seemed a terrible waste of resources. Fortunately, God is in charge of HIS resources, and He doesn't waste them. He does not ever waste time or money or lives.

Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him his counsel?
Whom did he consult, and who made him understand?
Who taught him the path of justice, and taught him knowledge,
and showed him the way understanding?
Isaiah 40:13-14 (ESV)

(For the record, I think the purpose of the paint situation was to teach my son a lesson about family forgiveness and God's forgiveness. The time wasted today on doors--still not sure about that!)

An Illustration Moms Can Understand

Psalm 131
A Song of Ascents. Of David.
O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.

Zeke is finally weaned. When I hold him now, he no longer whines and cries to be fed. He can simply sit in my lap and enjoy my presence. He finally trusts me to meet his needs. In fact, when he wants a drink now, he'll hit his little chubby hand against my arm or leg--sometimes without saying anything. He knows I understand. When my kids were still nursing, however, they would scream and scream to be fed. They wouldn't stop if I said, "Just a minute. I'll be right there; give me a minute to take this out of the oven." I remember thinking, "I feed you every day! Why do you cry like you don't believe I will do it again today?!"

My God has met my needs in the past. He has promised to provide for my every need today. He will give me grace to calm and quiet my soul before Him. I can simply "cast my care" on Him (1 Peter 5:7) and lean back against Him finding comfort and peace, like a weaned child with his mother.

Source of Hope

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Psalm 62:5-8

Ministry is a mercy

My dad “gave” me 2 Corinthians 4 in a sermon when I graduated from high school. God used this passage of scripture to encourage me again today. I’ve been very discouraged, and I need to remember that I deserve nothing. Everything is a mercy.

2 Corinthians 4:1 (ESV)
Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.

“Ministry is a mercy. It is a gift of God’s grace and favor to the utterly undeserving. You know, you hear people talk about burnout in ministry. Burnout is not because of work. You don’t hear ditch diggers complain about getting burned out on digging ditches. Labor doesn’t make people burn out. What makes people burn out is discouragement, and discouragement is connected to unrealistic expectations. If you realize you deserve nothing, and that everything is a mercy, that’s all you need to know.”

John MacArthur in “Certainties that Drive Enduring Ministry” at the 2007 Desiring God National Conference

God did

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
Romans 8:1-4