"It was from you that I learned to be me."
My oldest daughter turns six tomorrow, on Mother's Day.
My first real memories start between my fifth and sixth birthdays; before that time, I do not remember much about my childhood or my parents. I am realizing that my daughter will remember the conversations we are having today. Everything I do now, as a mother, has an effect on the person she will become. Today, on Mother's Day, I am thankful for the impact my godly mother had on me. Here are a few of the most important things she taught me:
1. Always clean your Kitchenaid mixer immediately after using it.
Mama is a Proverbs 31 woman in so many ways but mostly because of her diligence. She taught me to work with my hands and to prepare for the future. She created a peaceful home by keeping a well-ordered home. The disciplined way in which she lived her life gave her five children the foundation to excel in life.
2. Be predictably happy.
Mama was a thermostat, not a thermometer in our home. She set the tone by being calm instead of angry, joyful instead of depressed. I'm sure there were many times when Mama felt emotional or tired, but she had a peaceful demeanor by casting her anxieties on the Lord. We could borrow from that strength and feel that "all was right with the world" because all was right at home. She made our home a haven from the chaos everywhere else. We loved to be there. She was always there to talk, and she was almost always happy. : )
3. Get your instructions for life and parenting from God's Word.
I was born when my mother was only 19 years old. She was married at 17, right out of high school. She did not have a degree in child development when she started raising four children within six years (one more came nine years later). Mama simply studied God's Word and did what Proverbs said to do. She disciplined us and instructed us; she loved us and was patient with us. She trusted the Lord to give her wisdom daily for the challenges she would face in parenting.
4. Honor your parents and your in-laws (even if they are imperfect).
Mama did not have perfect parents (no one does), but she honored them. I am forever grateful for the way she treated both sets of my grandparents. She worked hard to make sure we spent time with them, and she spoke well of them. I loved them so much, and they all had a pivotal role in my spiritual development. From my Grandma Olson I learned about joy in the midst of adversity; from Grandpa Olson I learned about commitment. From Grandma LaPine I learned about hilarious generosity; from Grandpa LaPine I learned to have a soft heart toward the Lord. What a heritage!
5. Invest in homemaking.
I have long believed that Mama can do anything. She can decorate cakes, paint walls, wallpaper, crochet and knit, quilt and sew, cross stitch, cook, sing, tell stories, teach children, and lead a Bible study. She has often used these skills to make money for our family. But more importantly, she taught us that the home was a place to both find value and place value.
6. Love children and enjoy your husband.
One trait about Mama that I would love to develop (but still need to work on!) is her great love for children. For as long as I can remember, children have loved Mama. She is so enthusiastic with them and cares intimately about them. I remember being so proud of how my parents would banter with each other during VBS opening at our churches. They made things so much fun. Mama is so good at reading OR telling a story to kids. She values children, and they know it.
Mama also loves to be with my Papa. She'll drop anything to do what he wants to do, regardless of how crazy it may be. She has always been his lover and his friend.
7. Get up early.
I am working hard to be like Mama in this way. For as long as I can remember, Mama was up before me. This made things just seem "right." Now, I know she spends this early morning time in the Word and in prayer.
8. Make time with the Lord a priority.
In seventh grade, I attended the junior high school and had to leave for school earlier in the morning than the other kids. Mama got up every day and had devotions with me. We worked on memorizing 2 Timothy for a contest. That is a precious memory for me. My favorite memory with Mama, though, is of my senior year of high school. Mama broke her leg very badly when she fell on the ice in December. For many months she sat in a recliner in the living room, waiting for it to heal. In the evenings, I would help get her into bed. We would sit by each other on the bed and talk to the Lord about my future. Those were such special times for me. I was so confused about what to do with my life, but I learned from Mama to take one-day-at-a-time. She was confident that God would direct my steps as I waited on Him. And He did.
9. Trust God to provide for your needs, whether it be for money or relationships.
We moved several times during my childhood, and I know my mother struggled some to make friends at each new place. I remember one time, when there was no friend my age, that Mama prayed that God would provide for that need. He sent a friend for me. I learned that if He thought I needed a friend, He would provide the friend. I also learned from Mama to give to others; it is the best cure for loneliness.
Mama also taught me about the power of prayer. There were many times when we did not have the money to pay for various needs. During high school, we kept a list on the kitchen cupboard door of our financial requests and God's provision. This was a great tool in increasing my faith.
10. Make sure of your salvation and live in God's grace.
When I was six years old, I clearly remember going to Mama (she was sewing) and being very concerned about my salvation. I knew I had made a decision to accept Christ a few years earlier with Papa, but I was beginning to understand more about the gospel. I doubted whether I had really understood everything necessary. She encouraged me to make sure right then. Mama often went back to the gospel in many areas of parenting. I am thankful that she understood God's grace both in her life and in mine. She did not pretend to be perfect, but knew that we were both on the same journey toward sanctification. Mama also understood that I was a sinner, and that the foolishness "bound up" in me needed to be removed through discipline. I am so thankful for her insight into my personality and spiritual development.
"Her children rise up and call her blessed."
Proverbs 31
